


Applied Advanced Vocabulary

by Iamdollparts



Category: Community (TV)
Genre: Evermore - Freeform, Gen, Taylor Swift Lyrics, ship whoever you want here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-18 05:08:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29238099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iamdollparts/pseuds/Iamdollparts
Summary: It’s December 11, 2020, and Jeff is right where we left him. And after all the years of teaching at Greendale, he is still surprised when the dean cancels all classes.
Kudos: 2





	Applied Advanced Vocabulary

**Author's Note:**

> I imagine that my favorite characters have the same coping mechanisms as I do.  
> I own neither the characters nor the quoted songs.

On the morning after the Most Important Day of the year, Jeff opened his laptop to listen to the morning announcements. Greendale having gone to all virtual “learning” had not dampened its dean’s affinity for weird announcements and themed costumes, now they were just done over Zolm, the low-rent version of Zoom used by the community college. 

“In honor of Evermore at Midnight, all classes today are cancelled. I repeat, all clssss are cancelled including, by request, classes in the college of AC repair.” Shaking his head, Jeff closed the laptop, poured himself a cup of coffee, and headed to the apartment next door.

He could hear the dean still giving announcements when he knocked on the door.

“Come in! Professor Winger, please don’t forget your mask and social dean-standing,” the dean said as he pulled a Dalmatian print mask on over his face. In addition to the ridiculous mask, Jeff noticed he also wore an oversized white cardigan with little stars sewn on the sleeve.

“Craig, we’re neighbors and you’re constantly at my house.”

Jeff’s cell phone chimed.  
Ian: “DO NOT RUIN THIS FOR US.”  
Ping! Ian again. “Also this is why the students think you two are secretly married.”

“Craig, this is the last day of class before finals. You can’t just cancel class. We only have one day left to teach the material.”

“We are in a Global Pandemic! A professor should not wait until the last day to teach something important in these Uncertain Times.”

“I usually know better than to ask, but is this a Covid thing?”

“Everything is a covid thing. The only light in these dark days is the music of Taylor Swift and—“

Although he couldn’t have been less interested, or shouldn’t have been, Jeff asked, “the girl who writes songs about her breakups?”

The dean sighed. “Not anymore, she found true love and writes about fictitious breakups.”

“And this has what to do with cancelling classes?”

“The album dropped at midnight and we—“ he gestured to the webcam as if the student population was contained therein—“have been awake listening to it.” Turning back to his audience, he continued, “human beings, don’t forget to study for the finals, and if the shoe fits, walk in it til your high heel breaks.”

The dean turned off Zolm and looked at Jeff. “Students had a bad year. There’s not any fun—“

“People died,” Jeff added.

“Classes are cancelled for them, too,” he snapped. “Have a seat, Jeffrey, and put the coffee down. We are going to need champagne for this.”

—Three hours later—

“How is this so relatable? I’m not a sad housewife,” Jeff mused, wondering why his champagne flute was empty again.

“I know! I’ve never even had a boating license.”

“The song is about multiple murders but that part you can’t relate to is having a boating license?”

“Hmm, I imagined being cross-examined by Jeff Winger would be more fun than this is.”

The dean was saved from answering by a knock on the door. “It’s open!” He called and started putting on his face mask but stopped when Britta walked in.

“Jeff’s out of coffee creamer, do you have any?”

“Britta, I gave you the key for emergencies,” Jeff said.

“I was out of coffee and I have to work late at the animal shelter tonight so I need the caffeine. What’s going on here?” Britta looked suspiciously at the obviously buzzed men.

“Sometimes in December,” Jeff started, “you just feel unmoored. Which is better than being crestfallen I suppose...“

“I’ll never drop your hand while dancing,” the dean offered.

“Because you’re a cowboy like me.”

“Takes one to know one.”

Britta looked between them as she tried to figure out just what they were talking about. “Oh I get it! If you’d asked me I could have told you that edibles really catch up with you. Start with less next time,” she added wisely.

“I don’t need psychotropic carbs,” Jeff said with disgust.

“What do you think is in wine?”

“What do YOU think is in wine, Britta?”

“Hush, you two, this is my favorite part...And my tears and my beers...”

“AND MY CANDLES” Jeff and the dean sang together, poorly.

“I made a pot of coffee at Jeff’s place, I’ll bring it right over. Oh, and the health department called. They don’t want ANYTHING back!”


End file.
